I Like It When You Die
(Anal Cunt - 1997)







1. Jack Kevorkian Is Cool
2. Valujet
3. You've Got No Friends
4. You Keep A Diary
5. You Own A Store
6. You Got Date Raped
7. Recycling Is Gay
8. You're A Cop
9. You Can't Shut Up
10. You've Got Cancer
11. We Just Disagree
12. Hungry Hungry Hippos
13. You Are An Interior Decorator
14. Pottery's Gay
15. Rich Goyette Is Gay
16. Branscombe Richmond
17. You Live In Allston
18. You Are A Good Food Critic
19. Just The Two Of Us
20. Your Band's In The Cut-Out Bin
21. You're Gay
22. You Look Adopted
23. Your Cousin Is George Lynch
24. You Have Goals
25. You Drive An Iroc
26. You Play On A Softball Team
27. Because You're Old
28. You Sell Cologne
29. Being A Cobbler Is Dumb
30. You Live In A Houseboat
31. Richard Butler
32. 311 Sucks
33. Your Kid Is Deformed
34. You Are An Orphan
35. You're Old (Fuck You)
36. You Go To Art School
37. You're Best Friend Is You
38. You're In A Coma
39. Windchimes Are Gay
40. No, We Don't Want To Do A Split 7" With Your Stupid Fucking Band
41. Reni Auberjonois
42. Internet Is Gay
43. Ha, Ha Your Wife Left You
44. Hootie And The Blowfish
45. You Went To See Dishwalla And Everclear (You're Gay)
46. Locking Drop Dead In McDonalds
47. Technology's Gay
48. Your Favorite Band Is Supertramp
49. I'm In Anal Cunt
50. You (Fill In The Blank)
51. Kyle From Incantation Has A Mustache
52. Bonus Track #3






1. Jack Kevorkian Is Cool

first you killed an old person
then you went to jail
then you killed another
when you got out on bail

[chorus:]
old people suck, kevorkian rules, old people suck, jack kevorkian's cool [x2]

you're in jail again
because you wouldn't sell out
let's get a bulldozer
and break him out

[chorus]






2. Valujet

you fucking jew
you wanted to save 50 bucks
you were too cheap to fly delta
now you're an alligator's lunch

[chorus:]
find your early graves in the everglades-valujet,valujet
over prices you did quibble now the alligators nibble-valujet,valujet
hitler should've thought of it now you're alligator shit-valujet,valujet
you stupid fucking jew you should'nt have flew-valujet,valujet

are you a jew
or just fucking gay
too cheap to fly delta
or t.w.a.

[chorus]

at least the plane was filled,with white trash ,jews,and blacks
now you're valujet alligator snacks

[chorus]






3. You've Got No Friends

[SETH˙ never wrote lyrics for this, HE just faked it.]
[the general concept was supposed to be about tom pascual though.]






4. You Keep A Diary

YOU THINK YOUR LIFE'S SO IMPORTANT
YOU HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN
YOU'RE JUST A FUCKING FAGGOT
NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU

YOU, YOU KEEP A DIARY

YOU POMPOUS ASSHOLE DICKFACE
YOU'LL PROBABLY WRITE A BOOK
ONLY ANOTHER ASSHOLE WOULD PUBLISH IT
YOU DUMB STUPID FAG






5. You Own A Store

hide your dogs, hide your cats-gook,gook
you can't drive, your face is flat-gook,gook
your eyes aren't straight, it's you i hate-gook,gook
you pick rice, we bombed you twice-gook,gook

[chorus:]
you're a fucking gook [x4]

your accent's gay, please go away-gook,gook
you look alike, you ride a bike-gook,gook
you own a store, i kicked in your door-gook,gook
you fucking gook, you make me puke-gook,gook

[chorus]






6. You Got Date Raped

you just wanted to hold hands but he wanted to fuck
he's twice your size and weight so you're shit out of luck

[chorus:]
you got date raped, date raped [x4]

you whined to the judge, your eyes were full of tears
but you wouldn't have been raped if you didn't have 50 beers

[chorus]

next time you go out bring a chapperone or friend
or you'll probably end up getting date raped again
you got date raped






7. Recycling Is Gay

YOU P.C. FUCKING FAGGOT
WHY DON'T YOU THROW IT AWAY
I'LL NEVER RECYCLE
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY

RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY

MY GARBAGE CAN IS FILLED
WITH PLASTIC, CANS AND GLASS
IF YOU TELL ME TO RECYCLE
I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR˙ ASS

RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY






8. You're A Cop

powdered sugar on your fingers, coffee on your shirt
bribes in your pocket, you never do any work
you fat fucking slob you just sit in a car
until you get off work then it's back to the bar

[chorus:]
you fucking pig-pig
you're a fucking cop-cop [x4]

you never catch any crooks but harass everyone else
your fat fingers don't fit the trigger you're too slow to catch a nigger
you're a suburban cop because you're scared of the city
you broke a stool at dunkin donuts because you're so fucking fat

[chorus]

[repeat first verse]

[chorus]






9. You Can't Shut Up

you have dumb boots-you can't shut up
you love m.a.s.h.-you can't shut up
you don't wear pants-you can't shut up

you can't shut up

you have a beard-you can't shut up
it looks real dumb-you can't shut up
you lost your thumb-you can't shut up

you can't shut up

you're embarrassing-you can't shut up
you can't keep time-you can't shut up
you're a fucking hank-you can't shut up

you can't shut up

stop saying "hyper"-you can't shut up
stop saying "blast"-you can't shut up
you're a pain in the ass -you can't shut up

you can't shut up [x4]






10. You've Got Cancer

you've got cancer,cancer [x4]

your hair's falling out from kemo
part of your colon's been removed
you're only down to 90 pounds
you've only got 3 months to live

you've got cancer,cancer [x4]






11. We Just Disagree

[mostly noise vocals, except the chorus when SETH sing words from that gay dave mason song]






12. Hungry Hungry Hippos

[lyrics are from that old t.v. commercial]






13. You Are An Interior Decorator

faggot [x4]

you want to paint my walls pink,you want to give me a flowered sink
you put a statue of holly johnson in my hall and a poster of joe bonni on my wall

interior decorator [x2]

[repeat verse]

interior decorator [x2]

faggot [x4]






14. Pottery's Gay

[chorus:]
pottery's gay, pottery's gay [x4]

you could'nt afford college, you took a night class
you made a clay dildo, and shoved it up your ass

[chorus]






15. Rich Goyette Is Gay

if you think you'll get christine back, there's something wrong with you
she left you for ben tober, and he's a fucking jew

[chorus:]
rich goyette is gay [x4]






16. Branscombe Richmond

you're fucking awesome
you're my favorite actor
your character is great
you fucking rule

[chorus:]
branscombe richmond [x2]

you and lorenzo work great together
you've got cool jewelery
your hairstyle couldn't be better

i wish i was you

[chorus]

i respect your native heritage
your name is really cool
i'd love your hairdressers number
you couldn't possibly be cooler

[chorus]






17. You Live In Allston







18. You Are A Good Food Critic

your last name's weinstein and your first name's jay
you're a food critic and you're fucking gay
you have more hair on your face than you have on your head
pretty soon you'll have a.i.d.s. and you'll be fucking dead

[chorus:]
you are a food critic [x4]

you're old enough-to have bought "let it be" when it was new
you're bald enough-to blind a bird you fucking jew
you're gay enough-to go out with liberace
you're gay enough-you fucking fag
i'm 22,you're 33 and you go to school with me
jay weinstein is a gay bald jew with a beard






19. Just The Two Of Us

JUST THE TWO OF US
WE CAN MAKE IT IF WE TRY
JUST THE TWO OF US
YOU AND I

JUST THE TWO OF US
WE CAN MAKE IT IF WE TRY
JUST THE TWO OF US
YOU AND I






20. Your Band's In The Cut-Out Bin

YOUR RECORD COST $3.99
YOUR RECORD COST $2.99
YOUR RECORD COST $1.99
AND THEN IT GETS RETURNED

YOUR BAND'S IN THE CUT-OUT BIN [X4]

YOU'RE RIGHT NEXT TO HALL AND OATES
YOU'RE RIGHT NEXT TO THE COMMODORES
YOU'RE RIGHT NEXT TO CAMEO
YOU'RE A FUCKING HOMO
YOUR BAND'S IN THE CUT-OUT BIN [X4]
CUT-OUT BIN, CUT-OUT BIN, CUT-OUT BIN, CUT-OUT BIN

YOU'RE IN THE RETURN LINE
THEY DON'T TAKE BACK RECORDS UNDER $3.99
THEN YOU START TO FUCKING WHINE
BUY A REAL ALBUM NEXT TIME






21. You're Gay

[chorus:]
y-o-u-r-e-g-a-y,you're gay [x4]

you volunteer for charity work-you're gay
you care about the environment-you're gay
you're a ballet dancer-you're gay
you're a cake decorator-you're gay

[chorus]

you subscribe to honcho-you're gay
you go to fashion shows-you're gay
you love playing hacky sack-you're gay
you go to poetry readings-you're gay

y-o-u-r-e-g-a-y,you're gay






22. You Look Adopted

your real mother was a hooker,your real father couldn't get laid
your mother left you in a dumpster,you were adopted by two gays

[chorus:]
you look adopted [x4]

you hate father and son picnics, you hate the p.t.a.
you won't bring friends to your house,you've got two fathers and thier both fucking gay

[chorus]






23. Your Cousin Is George Lynch







24. You Have Goals

you want to go to school
you want a good job
you want to get married
you want to own a car

[chorus:]
you're boring,you're gay,you're old,you have goals [x2]

you want to own a house
you want to have kids
if these are your goals
then you're fucking stupid

[chorus]






25. You Drive An Iroc

you're from the north end-wop
you're from revere beach-wop
you can't have a barbeque-wop
the spaghetti always falls through-wop

[chorus:]
you drive an el camino,your hero's barbarino,your cousin's name is guido,on the beach you wear
a speedo

you drive an iroc-wop
your girlfriend has a mustache-wop
you were an altar boy-wop
you got raped by a priest-wop

[chorus]

you put on a bottle of colonge today,you're italian and you're fucking gay
your fucking name is fucking vinnie,and you're a greasy fucking guinea
you can't have freckles-wop
they slide off your face-wop
you braid your girlfriend's breast hair-wop
you shave your granny's back hair-wop






26. You Play On A Softball Team

you fucking fag
you have a mustache
you hang around with men
and stare at thier ass

[chorus:]
you're the gayest guy i've ever seen,you play on a softball team,you're the biggest fag i've
ever seen,you play on a softball team

your teams sponsored by a gay bar
and you've got team pride
too bad most of your team
all got a.i.d.s. and died

[chorus]






27. Because You're Old

you have to wear a diaper
because you're old [x2]
you have to use a wheelchair
b.y.o.(because you're old) [x2]
you can't remember your kids names
b.y.o. [x2]
you have to wear dentures
b.y.o. [x2]

b.y.o.-i hate old people
b.y.o.-you're fucking old

your kids tossed you in a nursing home
b.y.o. [x2]
but they'd rather have you put to sleep
b.y.o. [x2]
you can't even feed yourself
b.y.o. [x2]
i'd hate to fucking be like you
b.y.o. [x4]






28. You Sell Cologne

you have a mustache,you called me on the phone
you wear a beret and you sell colonge
you wear colonge but you still smell bad
you smell like shit from all the men that you've had

[chorus:]
you sell colonge [x4]

you wear a gay suit, you have a mustache
you're always looking at your customers ass
a freelance homo,you tried to sell to sears
but you got kicked out because you're fucking queer

[chorus]






29. Being A Cobbler Is Dumb







30. You Live In A Houseboat

you live in a houseboat
you're so poor it barely floats
you live in a houseboat
you're white trash you're fucking broke
you live in a houseboat
trailer park thinks you're a joke
you live in a houseboat
you're a dumb stupid fag
you live in a houseboat
your dog wears a bandana
you live in a houseboat
you have no teeth
you live in a houseboat
you have tattoos of an anchor
you live in a houseboat
your house has a leak
you live in a houseboat






31. Richard Butler

richard butler,why must you always sing that way






32. 311 Sucks

[no lyrics, just wigger jibberish, except at the end:]
YOU FUCKING SUCK!






33. Your Kid Is Deformed

clubbed foot,lazy eye,cleft pallet,webbed hands

[chorus:]
your kid is deformed,oi! oi! oi! [x4]

multiple sclorosis,scoliosis,scurvy,h.i.v.

[chorus (x2)]






34. You Are An Orphan

too bad your mother never learned to drive
maybe if she did,your parents would still be alive
now they're dead,and your sister too
now you're an orphan, we'll make fun of you

you are an orphan [x4]






35. You're Old (Fuck You)

please die, you're old [x3]

fuck you






36. You Go To Art School

your parents paid your tuition and bought you a beret
you go to art school because you're fucking gay
are you in college or 13th grade
think of all the money your parents could have saved

[chorus:]
fag,fag,fag,you go to art school [x4]

[repeat everything]






37. You're Best Friend Is You

no one cares what you say,no one gives a shit about norway
no one can stand the way you talk,except your girlfriend,the greasy wop

[1st chorus:]
everyone mistakes you for a jew
your best friend is you [x2]

you have hook nose like a fucking jew
your best friend is you [x2]

no one cares about what you wrote,you're nothing but a spic,a 5 foot joke
every show you book is a fucking flop,you're a fucking midget and your broad's a wop

[2nd chorus:]
no one cares what your last show drew
your best friend is you [x2]

you're about as tall as tattoo
your best friend is you [x2]

your favorite letter's f
flunk-you flunked out of school
flop-every show that you do
fail-every class that you take
friends-not one you can make






38. You're In A Coma

you're a fucking vegetable,we tried to pull the plug
but you still wouldn't die,you're a dumb stupid fag

[pre chorus:]
you shit in a bag,you piss in a tube,you can't walk,you can't move

[chorus:]
you're in a coma [x4]

i tried to give you a hotfoot,but you didn't notice
you're gay and you're in a coma,you're a fruit and a vegetable

...

[repeat pre chorus and chorus]






39. Windchimes Are Gay

Windchimes are Gay!






40. No, We Don't Want To Do A Split 7" With Your Stupid Fucking Band







41. Reni Auberjonois

[chorus:]
rene-auberjonois,is gay-auberjonois [x2]

you were on benson,you were in m.a.s.h.,you're french you're gay and you suck

[chorus]

you were in police academy 5,now you're on deep space 9

[chorus]

you were my best friend the vampire,i wish you would fucking retire

[chorus]






42. Internet Is Gay

YOU'VE GOT NO FRIENDS
YOU STAY HOMA ALL DAY
YOU'VE BEEN TO EVERY WEBSITE
BECAUSE TOU'RE FUCKING GAY

THE INTERNET IS FUCKING GAY
YOU FUCKING FAGGOT, LOSER, QUEER, NERD, ETC.

YOU'VE GOT NO FRIENDS
YOU STAY HOMA ALL DAY
YOU'VE BEEN TO EVERY WEBSITE
BECAUSE TOU'RE FUCKING GAY






43. Ha, Ha Your Wife Left You

can't find the lyrics. the chorus is:
your wife left you,your wife left you, you're not only a loser but you're also a jew






44. Hootie And The Blowfish

your band is fucking awesome,you have the best sound
you're really really good,you're the best band around

[chorus:]
hootie and the blowfish [x4]

even though you're black,i still think you're good,but please don't move into my neighborhood
the singer's a nigger,the other 3 are geeks,we'll get front row tickets and show up in sheets

[chorus]






45. You Went To See Dishwalla And Everclear (You're Gay)

you went to see dishwalla avd everclear,you're gay you're a fucking queer [x2]






46. Locking Drop Dead In McDonalds

....

[chorus:]
hey brian,hey bob,hey lee,hey ben,you're gay,you're gay
i'm gonna lock drop dead in mcdonalds today,today

i'm gonna (don't remember) and fry a burger on your face

your lyrics don't matter,no one cares anyways






47. Technology's Gay

HOW MANY MEGS OF RAM DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR COMPUTER ...
TECHNOLOGY'S GAY
HEY, WHY DON'T YOU CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE AT WWW ...
TECHNOLOGY'S GAY
I LOVE LOOKING AT THE STAR TREK WEBSITE, AND I EH ...
TECHNOLOGY'S GAY
LET ME FAX YOU MY E-MAIL ADDRESS ...
TECHNOLOGY'S GAY






48. Your Favorite Band Is Supertramp







49. I'm In Anal Cunt

retarded jibberish






50. You (Fill In The Blank)

we're so dumb,we've got nothing new to say
we write the same song 30 times a day
about how you're a cunt or you're dumb or you're gay
but we'll keep writing them anyway

[chorus:]
you fill in the blank [x4]

fill in the blank is dumb
fill in the blank is gay
fill in the blank's a cunt
and tom pascual is short

[chorus]






51. Kyle From Incantation Has A Mustache

kyle from incantation he's got a mustache [x a lot]

mustache






52. Bonus Track #3

YOU'RE LISTENING TO 85,3 FM
AND YOU JUST HEARD MY TWO FAVORITE BANDS
FILTER AND THE REFRESHMENS
SHUT UP!







All lyrics are the property and copyright of their owners
All lyrics provided for educational purposes only